Stay-at-home orders from your dog's perspective

I thought my dogs would be delighted when our state's governor gave her stay-at-home executive order. I imagined the dogs’ excitement at having me by their side 24 hours a day. Ah, the tricks we’ll learn, the walks we’ll have! What fun!!

"I love having my human home all day! Here I am, helping her fold the clean laundry." -- Roan

Imagine my shock and dismay, then, when I saw a Facebook post by collies Gordon and Mella (sharing the house owned by Nan Marks, a wonderful and insightful friend).

Dear fellow companion animals (we believe this is dominantly a canine issue but may be mistaken and all companion animals are welcome here), we have a concern and a plea. First remember back, just a few short weeks ago, when our dearest fantasy was that our human companions could always be with us? Little did we suspect then what an annoying and high maintenance species they can be. Now we seem to be trapped with them. We beg your assistance. Have you found ways to amuse, distract, or even shut them down so that proper canine pursuits, including naps, are once again possible?
Beleagueredly and exhaustedly yours,
Gordon and Mella

Mella and Gordon, before sending their plea.

Replies from the collies’ friends rolled in…

Dear Gordon and Mella, I feel your pain. I’m not sure what has gotten into my mum. She used to leave me alone in the house three days a week for 2-3 hours, which was great as I could sleep, harass Tail, or simply hang out. Now she’s home 24/7 and, like your mum, in need of continual attention. It’s getting quite annoying, especially when she decides it's time to head out on a bloody marathon walk… I have short legs so for every four steps she takes, I have to take 8 to 10 and she’s all excited that she’s getting 15,000 steps on her Fitbit. I wish I had a fitbit, I’m probably getting over 30,000!! Today, I got a break as she got into a book. If only I knew how to entice her to get into a book EVERY day, my life could go back to normal… Do you have any suggestions??? 

Corgi hugs from one VERY exhausted corgi,
Oscar

Dear Gordon and Mella,
We found having mom take us for a very long walk in the rain yesterday worked very well. By the time we got back from the walk, she was as wet as we were. She had to towel us dry, get off all the mud we had fun splashing in, then groom us once we were dry. After all of that effort, she seemed to feel going off and reading a good book was a good idea, so we got our snooze time in without interruption. 

Try it, it just might work for you!
Skye and Farley

Gordon and Mella,
I have two humans home with me now. I only had one that worked from home. The other is home now as well. I wish they would get off the computer and phone and play with me and take me on longer walks. I would also like for the female human to practice her trick dog class material on me in case I have any suggestions. 

Sending you positive energy and love,

Teddy

"I'm the Invisible Dog!" -- Teddy

More reports continue to roll in from dogs throughout the country:

Finn and Carmine can relate. "We feel your pain, guys! Hang in there!”

Finn and Carmine take hostages.

Logan reports that “my human naps in the afternoon on the sofa. I stare at her until she thinks I have to go out. Then as soon as she gets up, I can jump into MY spot.” Also, Logan hides now when his human puts her shoes on.

Ollie is praying his mud wallow does not dry up, “because I know my human will not follow me there.”

Fibber says sleeping 20 hours a day keeps his human out of his fur, “even when I’m playing possum part of that time.”

And we can't forget the cats. Siamese tomcat Jagger reports that the human male has now set up his office in the kitty litter room. “Hey, I’m trying to poop here -- sometimes a guy needs privacy,” Jagger points out. "Go back to your regular activities outside of the house. We are not animals.”

It’s time to start looking at this COVID-19 tragedy from the perspective of our dogs. See if you can try to think like them. But don’t go overboard.

FB graphic by Keith Mozingo