Thursday Training!

Pets Grieve Loss

Grief is a natural response when a family member or friend dies. We know this for ourselves, but is the same true for our pets? The answer is “yes.” Pets can grieve, but just like us, each responds in his or her own way.  Losing a beloved pet affects everyone in the household.  There is no denying that the family dynamics are forever changed. 

The loss of my Exotic cat Mink greatly impacted the household.  Mink's health had been declining for awhile, and the time came when the ultimate act of love was to let him go. My sensitive and anxious little brown tabby Monty would cry and cry, looking in all of Mink's favorite spots.  It broke my heart because I could not explain to him that Mink was gone.

When I lost both of my senior dogs Whitney, Cairn Terrier, and Ty, Australian Shepherd, in the same week unexpectedly, my Cairn Smudge was inconsolable.  After all, both dogs had been with Smudge since he was a puppy.  Smudge would go back and forth to the door, thinking they were outside.  Smudge loved to patrol the yard, but now he did not want to go outside at all.  His confusion and depression were obvious.

Whitney – the spark in the Endo household.  I knew that when she was gone the void that she left would be huge.  But it has been even worse than I had anticipated.  Whitney's attitude and bossiness always made  me laugh, and I miss her every day. Although my young Border Collie mix Rue keeps things lively, Whitney's diva essence was unforgettable. 

The behaviors that you might observe in your pets' grieving  will vary based on how close the relationship was between the pets, and the remaining pets' temperament. But regardless of how grief is displayed, pet parents are a vital support system in the void left behind and the healing process moving forward.

Pets grieve the loss of a beloved family member in much the same way as we do and have many of the same needs during this di0cult time. While it can be difficult to focus on your pet’s grief when you are in mourning yourself, doing so has a way of making everyone feel better in the end.

When I had to say goodbye to Mink I became physically ill for two days.  Not only was I unable to function normally, I was barely able to function at all.  My stress and suffering was certainly evident to my pets, who were suffering as well.  Smudge was barking more, Swayze was anxious, and Rue was destructive.  Monty was meowing, while Mojo appeared unaffected by the events unfolding all around him.  Or so it seemed.  When I took the time to give Mojo some extra loving, as I did with all of the others, Mojo was over-the top elated – purring louder than ever, rolling and rubbing all over my feet, and wanting to be in my lap.

Give your grieving pets extra attention and TLC.  Your pets are very intuitive of your emotions and being strong for them will heighten their coping skills during this most difficult time.  And, as mentioned previously, focusing on the needs of your pets will assist you throughout your own painful grieving process, causing you to draw strength from within to influence the emotional needs of others.

Loss is inevitable, it is extremely difficult, and the absence of the pet can be all consuming.  My pets are truly my family.  They bring much joy into my life, and overwhelming sorrow when it ends.  And each precious memory remains forever in my heart.  “Do not be sad for what you have lost, be grateful for what you had.”

Dog bless, 
Judy Endo
andtoto2@ptd.net