Dis is Birk, can U hep me?

Dictated to Birk's foster mom

I has had a bad day. I did a little peein in my crate.. I mean dat is how I had to pee in dat place I lived before... so why not...??


Well not in dis place!! I will try berry berry hard not to do dat agin.. Coz do U no why??
Dat Foser Dad person, well him tried to drownd me in WATER!! I screamed n yelled fur hep. Baylee mi foser sister cam n put her paws up on da tub n all her did was look at me. U would fink her would have tried to hep me.. but NOOOOO.


N dat is not the worst fing.. now I smells like a Gurl dawg, all floweres and gurl fings. I is a Man dawg N I should smell ob manly fings like.. well not like I smells now..!!
Den after I is drowned and soggy n sweet smeelin.. yuck!! dat hooman wooman tried to smuver me with towels!! Her rubbed my ears n mi legs n mi belly..ohhhh it was nice to be held close n rubbed..But I digress.. I fink day is trying to make me into a house dawg like dat Kringle who libs here..huuummmm


Well, I will fink about it .. da rubbin is nice n da food is nice n us has clean sweet water anytime we want it. Di U eber no dat there could be clean sweet water any time? N I duz even have to push n shove to git it coz I has mi own bowl in mi pen.

So I is going to take a nap now n git ready fur bed, but I is not going to pee in mi bed agin.. no sir.. not me.. one drowning is E Nuff.

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