Eraser manages the 'end of the world'

DATELINE INWOOD



its past 6pm so someone find the cat and call to have the paper started again
cause i hate to miss the sunday funnies, eraser mayor of inwood

Special End of The World Orders by Eraser, mayor of Inwood

because the end of the world is 5/21/11 as reported on the news today, the mayors office is asking that the last person out of the city hall turn off the lights and let the cat out, please call the paper girl and stop the newspaper, office of the mayor

Chicken in every pot and a Cairn in every garage

Deer Mayor Eraser
Will you be taking your campain on the trail (so to speek). We wood lob to hab you come and speek in our State - maybee you shud be runnin for Bice President instead ob Mayor!! Da world need to hab a Man Corn Dog in a posishun of Power!! Pleese lets us no if you are comin fru WesBirginya - wee will meet you atta trane stashun

The Dixon Kidz - Diva, Maxx, Ozzie, Patches, Rosie and Leroy an our Mam Sydney

Eraser Says:
If reelected i will form a comittee to study the problem of murder and mayhem of the minorities, as you know in my last term how good the no cairn left behimd program worked, and i know with enough funding we can end this scurge of pink chickens and blue squirells green shoes and etc sitting around thinking they can just squeek and rattle with unabated abandon with out getting their aasss chewed off,remember a vote for me is a vote for freedom

Eraser and Cindy U. are being fostered in Pennsylvania and you can learn more about him and the other cairns available for adoption by clicking here.

Eraser's big speech : it's primary election day!

aammmmm My fellow citizens, we are standing on the edge of a great canyon we can just jump in or we can build a bridge to the other side,if you just jump in its a hard landing , i say lets build that bridge to the future .a future of prosperity and well being for all our citizen. one where we can stand up in the jeep and look out the window without being jostled about because the road is too bumpy, or a future where we can walk down the road without a fast food bag making us hungery with nothing in it but paper and crumbs, I say let me take the leash and guide the citizens down the road and over the bridge to tomorrows that are happier then they were, vote for Eraser in the primary election

A vote for Eraser is a vote for honest government

Written by CP foster Eraser


Deer Mayor Eraser,

Where does I vote? N does my sisters git votes or is it only us boy dawgs dat kin vote?? If I votes early does I git to vote often as well? Kin I make up names n vote fur U wif da fake names? I always wanted to be called Super Cairn or Wonder Dawg or Studley Dudley or Fang. Jus let me no N I will vote fur U n tell my foser Bruther to vote fur you 2. If dem sisters kin vote you might have to ax dem uself coz dat Tia is a bossy person and does not always do I I tells her n my ears get chewd on if her git mad at me.

U faithful follower
Kringle in Ioway.

Eraser and Cindy U. are being fostered in Pennsylvania and you can learn more about them and the other cairns available for adoption by clicking here.

Ask Eraser: Eraser answers your questions

Dear Eraser,

My sweet little cairn rescue has become a sock-stealing, aroooing, stubborn and mischievous little terror! He demands regular trips to the dog park and will bark at me if I'm not getting ready fast enough!

Where did I go wrong?

I'll bet you are nothing like that, right? You're probably a perfect angel!

Love,
Jenni in Iowa
Roland's servant and mother

Eraser Says:

i imagine you went wrong by being too slow, if you don’t want to be barked at hurry up. you may think its just going to the park but maybe its a much more important business meeting, you may think its taking a sock but maybe a scorpion was hiding in that sock, maybe that arooooo is the news of the neighborhood or something you really need to know. i only have your word about Roland being mischievous and stubborn little terror, im sure he has a different opinion, just let Roland run things there a while and you relax and take it easy, things will get to normal in a very short time.

Eraser and Cindy U. are being fostered in Pennsylvania and you can learn more about him and the other cairns available for adoption by clicking here.

Eraser says : Easter Proclamation

Written by Eraser, mayor of Inwood



His Honor the Mayor Eraser, hereby proclaims, safe passage will be granted to one called The Easter Bunny, thru the city boundry of the town of Inwood Pa. for 1 night only hereby called Easter Eve, The Easter bunny will not be harmed by dog or man in this town, but next night he better not show his fuzzy tail or else he better have left over snacks to pay for safe passage, Eraser mayor of Inwood.

Eraser and Cindy U. are being fostered in Pennsylvania and you can learn more about him and the other cairns available for adoption by clicking here.

Eraser Says

Written by CP's foster Eraser


"Another reason not to have a dog on the bed is they will spill your beer and step in your salsa as they try to take a corn chip"

Eraser and Cindy U are being fostered in Pennsylvania and you can learn more about him and the other cairns available for adoption by clicking here.

Eraser says: Chapter 5

Written by CP's foster Eraser

Big Red discovered his God given skills again when he held his nose to the wind and sniffed, one way the water one way the forest , the other the peoples he scared off and food, he sniffed the ground and put down his mark as he wandered over to the site, here and there he sniffed a bit of good and licked it off the ground and off the wood things they sit on, food was nice , it didnt taste like mill food ! this had lots of taste and none was sour and poopy,....... this is my place now, all this food is mine too , finders keepers losers weepers is the law of the mill , so this is all mine, proud of his achievement Red lay down and just then noticed he was covered in mud and branches and even a crawfish , when it poked him in his skin.......he rolled onto his back and tried to wiggle the junk out of his hair.....all of a sudden 2 people hands picked him up and held him tight so he couldnt jump away, he was held on his back , his most volnerable spot.

"High there cutie!, are you the monster that scared all the picnickers away?"said his captor.whats your name ? where did you come from?" then Red started to relax and breath when the voice sounded familure, and he smelled that smell again, it was the smell of the red and yellow things and the smell of the nice 1 person that touched his nose thru the wire of his cage." lets go home ill clean you up" said the nice lady.......All the mill was quiet then the questions "is Red at the peoples house now?"" what is the moral of this story? "Yes said Eraser he lives with the nice people that smells like the red and yellow things, and the moral is" DONT BE SCARED TO DREAM A BIG DREAM IT JUST COULD COME TRUE" Every one sat and stayed still and started to dream their own dreams...... the end

Eraser and Cindy U are being fostered in Pennsylvania and you can learn more about him and the other cairns available for adoption by clicking here.

Eraser says: Chapter 4

Written by CP's foster Eraser



Big Red watched the flow of the water and a leaf floated by he thought, if i
follow that leaf it surely must go to the end of the world. so with the skill of
a ballet dancer he jumped from rock to rock, log to log till he got too sure of
his skill and fell in the cold water, this isnt too bad he thought maybe ill
just play awhile here. he felt a relief from an itch he had for years , dirt
flowed off him and down stream in a trail, he flipped on his back and twisted in the little stone to scratch himself, little did he know grass, leaves, stones, branches, crayfish and mud had attached them self to his hair on his back.but he didnt notice because he had dirt caked on him for years, but for now the cool hair felt good ! and his skin didnt itch,..........Red walked and jumped and swam for miles till he heard a noise he never heard before, swoosh splash brrrrr wooop woopp, and there it was before him water as far as he could see, water till it met the sky and beyound.in all his wonderment he still had a thought in back of his mind where is the monster, he was warned 2 times. he looked out over the water and saw the waves as they hit the shore and thought again the monster must be close! there is the water making waves on the land,,, surely this must be a great monster! big as a whole house big as the puppy mill itsself........then he heard the screems blood curdling screems eeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooo and saw peoples running and screeming ,running in circles , running away from him , he is a monster he has rabies!!!! run run run away!!!, Red felt strangely powerfull but had no idea why......"some people must be afraid of a wee dog like me here in this land" he thought "good i dont have to be scared here i can run and be free and people are scared of me here im safe " little did he know they were scared of the mud and branches and grasss and crayfish that made him look like a creature from the black lagoon, .... the end of the world was wonderfull lots of water no people now ......but he never did learn how to find food at the mill it just came thru the gate sometimes and he was worried now what food is here and where to find it. he thought to wander a while is the best way to find food, he would be sure it was food when he saw it, so off he went , off to circle the end of the world, Eraser looked at his
audience and said chapter 5 next week

Eraser and Cindy U are being fostered in Pennsylvania and you can learn more about him and the other cairns available for adoption by clicking here.

Eraser Says : Chapter 3

Written by CP's foster Eraser



The dogs were spellbound, Eraser retched up a big green hocker and spit it with the precision of a marine sniper, hitting the handle of a shovel, everyone
cheered because they knew the miller would grab the shovel at that exact
place.....AAAAHHHHEEEEMMMM so Bonnie and Big Red parted, Red followed the path that Bonnie pointed out to him, it was an old path full of scents from thousands of years of animals walking it to and from the end of the world. Reds step got faster and stronger even tho his belly was empty and hurt from hunger, "why didnt i eat that bonnie he thought" but he knew he had to stick to the old laws of dont eat those who help you......The forest turned to high grass again and the ground got muddy, bugs got plentifull and Reds tail turned into a fly swatter then his ears started switching too, all in time with the tail, he knew he had to move fast and get out of the muddy land, so faster he ran it seemed forever but he finallly got to the top of a small hill and dry land. With a cool breaze and shade he finally lay down closed his eyes and rested a wee bit. Again he woke hearing a strange noise,reeebuttttt Red opened his eyes, there was a green monster ,no hair,giant eyes, and a tongue like a sticky rope. WWWWWoooooottttssss up bbbbbudddddy? said the monster, Im off to find the end of the Earth and get a drink of water""well walk this way and ill take you to clean water" said the monster, and the monster hopped away, hippy hop hippy hop, Red thought a while and started to hop too in the same direction , not wanting to make the monster mad......Soon there was a nice creek, the water fresh and clean it made a pleasant noise as it flowed over the rocks and falls. "drink all you want it never stops" Red drank and drank then washed his paws, thinking what the bonnie mc bonnie said he asked "are you the monster that makes the waves at the end of the earth?"No sir i am not im just a frog but follow the creek it takes you to the end of the world....BUT BEWARE THE MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!! wwwwhhhhhoooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!scareyyyyyyyyyyy

Eraser and Cindy U are being fostered in Pennsylvania and you can learn more about him and the other cairns available for adoption by clicking here.

Eraser Says: Chapter 2

Written by CP's foster Eraser




Eraser looked into his water dish and took a big larup splashing the dogs sitting up front then went on. Big Red smelled the water far away but saw no sign of it, he walked and walked getting more tired with each step the hot sun felt nice but made him thirsty, finally under the shade of an old tree he scratched a bed in the loose dirt and fell fast asleep .....The sun sailed across the sky and Red woke up to the faint sound of munch munch munch,slowly he opened his eyes and saw the strangest sight he ever saw. It had long floopy ears little feet in the front and big ones in the back, a tail like a ball of fluff , like a tail was bit off in a fight, the big flat teeth were alarming to him but he wasnt scared of the monster......."Who are you"? Red barked out at the monster...."Im Bonny Mc Bunny" he said silently." "i never saw a beast like you before,What are you?"said Red....Well im a Bunny Mc Bunny is all i know" "What is it you do" barked Red "Well i eat and hop and eat and hop and as i do I pray i dont get eaten","And who and what are you ?"asked bunny....."Im Big Red Irish McGuinnis the biggest and baddest Cairn ever escaped out of the mill.""Well what is it you do?" asked bunny....Red pondered this question for a minute and said"i really dont know all i do is stand in a cage and dream of being outside but now that im outside i dont know what to do, but i know im thirsty!!!!!""well there is water at the end of the world,,, lots of it,i can hop for days and never get to the other side so it must be the end of the world "says bonny Mcbunny..."BUT BEWARE OF THE MONSTER THAT MAKES THE
WAVES!!!!!!!!!!" and Eraser's eyes burned with fear.

Eraser is being fostered in Pennsylvania and you can learn more about him and the other cairns available for adoption by clicking here.

Eraser Says: Chapter 1

Written by CP's foster Eraser




Chapter 1, Some days to pass the time we told our stories everyone had a story
but the best stories came from Big Red Irish McGuinnis,he had escaped from his
cage more times then anyone, and actually got to see the end of the
world...."one day some new person got careless and picked me up so i could push
against his chest with me feet and i rolled out of his hands and i hit the poopy
covered cement running" said big red....He ran past the big tree and the rusty
tractor in the field, he even got close to the big house that always has a faint
smell of food coming from it, but didnt have time to sniff it of pee on it to
make it his own place......Angry people got on their noisey 4 wheeled machines
and started off on the chase after him"im gonna kill that sob they
shouted"!!!!...But Big Red could run and run and he knew of hunting and stelth
from his ancient breeding in the high lands. So no people could ever find him he
thought, when he saw the noisey machine go the opposite way he set out on his
adventure....His keen nose smelled something he never smelled before , it was
nice then he sneezed a few times and got the puppy mill stink out of his nose,
and he knew for the first time what clean pure sweet air was. more smells
entered this mighty hunters nose , the little red and yellow things that grew
from the ground smelled so sweet, like the nice lady who touched his nose once
thru the cage wire., maybe she owns the flowers too thats why she smells the
same.

Eraser is being fostered in Pennsylvania and you can learn more about him and the other cairns available for adoption by clicking here.

CP foster Eraser - spring and melting snow

Written by CP's foster Eraser



When i was in the puppy mill we all would spend the endless hours thinking about what the outside world will be like if we ever escape. Well there was one who escaped many times the greatest cairn of them all "BIG RED IRISH MCGUINNIS" he was a hero to us all...He told us many stories about the outside world, but the most amazing story was about how food comes right out of the dirt when it gets a little warmer and the sun shines longer..... well this week the snow started to go away and the sun started to shine a little longer each day, so i decided to check out BIG REDS story and looked out in the dirt for food…to my surprise there was a shinny new chocolate candy bar right on top of the melting snow, I walked over to investigate, i sniffed it and pawed it and paced around it, I even stared at it for a long time,Well that BIG RED IRISH MCGUINNIS is a big fibber - that isnt food that comes up out of the snow and dirt in the spring!!!!!

Eraser is being fostered in Pennsylvania and you can learn more about him and the other cairns available for adoption by clicking here.

CP foster Eraser's wisdom : Words NOT in a terrier's dictionary by Eraser

Written by CP foster Eraser, mayor of Inwood

when i say no i mean hell no, come come come , sit sit sit, heal heal heal, no bark no bark no bark, thats not yours

dont pee on the doors, dont pee on the floors, dont pee on the drawers

a shoe is not a tooth brush, the broom will not fit thru the doggie door sideways, the trash can is not a restaurant, (one i'll tell you if you email me)

pee on millies side of the bed if you must, stand still so i can wash you, did you pee? its just rain, who crapped where i just stepped?

who farted? who drug this dead possum into the bedroom? who keeps washing their feet in the water bowl? who chewed into the tv cable? who chewed on the antique chair legs?

who tore the bristles out of my paint brushes? how did you drag my laundry basket out side? why is the toes chewed out of all my socks? but they all do know I LOVE YOU DADDY can i have a snack?

DUCK TAPE!!! I can tell it’s girls suggesting to wrap the hoo hoo thing in duck tape omg every time we boys pee it would hurt so bad when you pull the duck tape off. No no no just say no to duck tape on the hoohoo thing

Eraser is being fostered in Pennsylvania and you can learn more about him and the other cairns available for adoption by clicking here.

Eraser shares sketches by Pablo Pacairno!

Cindy and I had our pictures drawn by the world famous artist Pablo Pacairno.



Eraser and Cindy U are being fostered in Pennsylvania and you can learn more about them and the other cairns available for adoption by clicking here.

Ask CP foster Eraser for Advice!

Because i have so much time on my hands here in the mayors office i decided to start an advice column! so any problem anyone has, dog or people, address it to me Eraser in "Ask Eraser", i will try to answer all,remember tho a dawgg has a different way of looking at things as a people does, from the desk of Eraser mayor of inwood

Question: Hello, Mr Mayor. I have a question and the girls and I don't know what the answer is: Do you think it is OK to eat soap?

Mom has me on this diet for dogs with crummy liver function, so the food service around here is pretty marginal. This weekend, I did manage to snag a bunch of fish oil capsules (I am still burping fish--yumm) but mom is pretty alert with that "No! Not for boys!" yell.

So, she got this present thing that had a bag of this really good smelling thing that had a picture of a goat on it. While she was in the kitchen, I got it off the coffee table and investigated. It was pretty tasty but did sort of have a little aftertaste. And that bag it was in was sort of hard to chew through. When mom found out she was mad and I heard her say, "Don't eat my present!"

Do you think this stuff is on my diet? And should I try to get it down off the counter for a second gnaw? I figured you'd know because you are the mayor and everything.

Slater in TX


Answer: Dear Slater in Tx: As you know the golden rule of being a cairn is… if it moves kill it…if it doesnt move chew it…if it stinks roll in it then eat it…if its someone elses pee on it then its yours, since the chupacabra soap didn’t move and smelled like a goat the rule is clear, and your mum was wrong to scold you.

And why didnt she eat the soap first if she thinks she is the boss? Is her name on the counter? is there a no trespassing sign on it anywhere? she doesnt have much of a property rights claim on it. I rule "finders keepers losers weepers" to make sure this doesnt happen again please pee on all your personal property, that way mum wont get confused about who owns stuff

Eraser mayor of inwood

Eraser is being fostered in Pennsylvania and you can learn more about him and the other cairns available for adoption by clicking here.